Now for the sensation that is sweeping the nation,
I’m destroying a host that's giving the girls much flirtation.
I've seen that shitty show of yours, and I can recall,
That the Band won't Stand, and then you took the fall.
I’ll stomp down your so-called Pyramid, watch it crumble.
While you’re selling of your shares got you into deep trouble
You died from a heart attack, where you put up no fight.
I have this battle in the bag, and Dick, “kiss me goodnight.”
It's real good to be beating you lyrically this year, no doubt.
But now it is time for the dullest Star-maker to burn out.
You allowed the Commie to Dance, yet you are one of ‘em.
You got poor reviews, because your no-personality problem,
You have no talent at all; it’s all from your guests that you survive.
You needed help from Elvis Presley down to the Jackson Five.
And it seems you have a temperament attitude; that’s not good.
You’re a poor host and did your job just as good as anyone could.
You should stop wasting your time Bowling in the Columbine,
And it may be my show that fell, but your reputation is on the line.
The world doesn't need no Music Survey to see where you're going,
With your Missing Link, It Takes Two to learn your Greed is showing.
You’re another radio has-been, only coming out to see the New York Ball.
I’ll Rock you to the future, Roll you down, you’ll remember nothing at all.
It’s time to cut the show biz, kid. You’re just another Teenage girl,
You’re dancing with the others, just to get acclaim to the world.
You need to learn how to stop Clowning Around and actually host.
Worst of all, your family didn’t tell you of what you were diagnosed.
Like McCartney, you couldn’t remember an old guest for your life,
Because of you Al—what were we talking about? Oh! Your wife.
Take your show into your hands; stop calling your wife for her critique.
And The Dave Clark Five’s clean act brought your show's peak
Time to take the Star away from the maker, since it does not belong.
Now this has been Dick Clark, slaughtering Ed Sullivan, now so long.