Hello! Welcome to my series (which now has a name!), and a three-way battle between the three food mascots of the world! Leader of the KFC army, Colonel Sanders takes on the cheery McDonalds clown Ronald McDonald, and the king of burgers, the Burger King (from Burger King)
Let's Go!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
Ronald McDonald!
VS!
The Burger King!
VS!
Colonel Sanderrrrs!
BEGIN!
Colonel-
Look at these twats, I'm the only one who's real
I use real chicken, you two use people,dog and seal!
I created KFC, what did you do, you boring assholes?
I practically built a nation, I worked harder than 20,000 fucking Poles!
I'm more recognizable than Batman, more common than a trucker!
So now this King and this clown can suck my dick, motherclucker!
King-
A clown and a Colonel don't outrank a fucking king
So piss off before I clench your balls so hard you'll sing!
You're right, Harlem, I do use fucking people in my meat
People who attempt to beat me, I'll wrap you in a sheet-
and put you in my meat grinder, and chop the head off this clown
I'll take it up, swing it round, knife makes contact, you go down!
Ronald-
Calm down, King, it looks like you're a bit insane
Have an Unhappy Meal, taste my fist, feel pain
And Harland, you're old, I'm glad you finally died!
I once tried one of your items, and fuck, I cried!
Your meat! It's shit! Do you make it on the loo?
So Sanders, King, this clown says this- fuck you!
Colonel-
Burger, I hate you more than a racist hates a nigga!
And Ronald, shut up before I pull the fucking trigger
I admit it, It's hard to par with this fucking twat clown
But Burger King will always lose out on the REAL fast food crown!
I'm top of the list, don't make me pissed, you crazy runner-up freak
When I taste any of your food I'm on the toilet for a whole week!
King-
Just shut the fuck up, I'm crazy, dangerous, and I pack a punch!
Little kids pull out pistols and knives when they go to you for lunch
Kids love me, and you clown, you just love them, you nonce!
If I chainsaw,cut, and slice, then there would be nothing in your bonce!
Harlem, Donald, bow down to the the Burger King, the King of Food!
You two are just the McDonalds Clown and the KFC fucking dude!
Ronald-
I am MC Donald, Ronald my first name, bitch!
I knife you in the neck King, too late for a stitch
Harland, I feel thanked, that you wanked fucker
Practically appraised me and insulted me, my old mucker!
Psych! You're a dickhead! And your food will never be famous
I am the King Of Food, and my fame was instantaneous...
?????????
What did you just say?
Harland (thinking)
It's him...the chocolate guy!
Burger (thinking)
Oh no, we're in deep shit
Ronald-
Uh, Mr W? Are you...going to rap?
????
Yes...I...Am....
Announcer-
It's
WILLY WONKA!
Wonka-
It's the brilliant king of chocolate come to settle this food fight!
When I bring out my snacks, you'll be bruised and battered all night!
I'm an adventerous leacharous treacherous incredible edible choc doc lock you up when i ring them and bring them the orange-faced laced with cyanide, pride, oops,.. you...died....at the hands of the diminutive absolutive foot soliders, is it colder, when I bring out the enemies, the deadlier than Goombah's...the Oompah-Loompah's
Oompah-Loompah's-
OHHHHHHH
We come in, bitch, to join our fucking master!
When we switch on our raps, you'll need more than a plaster!
....
...
(The Oompah-Loompah's are dead...the tension has killed them)
Sanders-
Look, this is getting out of hand...now let me finish it!
(He pulls out a samurai, and swings it at the trio.It smashes into Willy Wonka's hand, cutting it, and also chops into Ronald's shoulder. He then stabs at Burger King, but Wonka jumps in the way, and it kills him)
????-
WAIT! THIS IS EPIC RAP BATTLES, NOT EPIC BATTLES! START RAPPING!
King-
Who?
ADAM RICHMAN!
Adam-
to come
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
Y-Y-Y-Y-YOU DECIDE!!!
EPIC *omnomnomnonmnonmnonmnonmnomnom* RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
I know this very long and most of it isn't even rap, and it's very complicated, but who cares?