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Peter McGuire vs. Matthew Maguire is a holiday special in ERBOR. It features American labor leader, Peter J. McGuire, battling Brisbane Lions football player, Matthew Maguire, to decide who is the true creator of Labor Day. Music: Monday Night Football Instrumental.

Lyrics

Peter McGuire

1882, I established Labor Day.

You're just a little boy who plays with feet and balls in the sun or rain.

Very man behind the creation? What drugs you been havin?

I'll beat you so bad, you'll have to hide in Uncle Tom's Cabin.

You took credit for this day while in a parade.

After that, this holiday left everyone astray.

Matthew Maguire

I won't attack you, but I'll sure as hell defend myself.

I'm gonna forward these raps to your 1906 dead self.

I may have broke my leg and fight alongside lions.

But at least I didn't get arrested as a man of commissions.

That paper you invented, called The Toiler?

I used it to wipe my ass and then flushed it down the toilet.

Peter McGuire

You need to calm down, son. Here, take my cigar.

I'll be sure what's bad for you, Goose, is good for me, the Gander.

Eight hour days will be your longest and full of misery.

And I should know what that's like, I mean, I lived in Missouri.

Matthew Maguire

You're a drunk, you're worse than Haymitch.

This is the end of Round 5, 2012, against number 36.

1906? Does anyone even remember that year?

You died, yes, but my injuries are less severe.

You poor old soul, just a Federation's president and successor.

But guess what? These are the fruits of MY labor.

Poll

Who Won?
 
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The poll was created at 02:35 on August 30, 2013, and so far 0 people voted.

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